Synopsis of “The Post-Apocalypse Club”
Genre: Fiction (General or Science Fiction)
Word Count: TBA
By Stuart R. G. Calimport

Illuminatus, a narcoleptic student with interests in science and immortality, out of a post-cold war monotony-fuelled leaning to eccentricity and an unhealthy degree of intellectual opulence is setting up a society at his university whereby people learn how to prepare for a coming apocalypse. The other oddball members of the society are his undervalued girlfriend, Alice, the poster girl for apocalyptic housewifery, Edwin, a zombie obsessed computer hacker and Jon, a repressed geek with hero worship issues.
Illuminatus meets a female vampire that alludes to the fact that she is Eve the first female. Illuminatus being an atheist presumes these events are all in his mind, which varies in stability due to his mainly nocturnal lifestyle, the amount of knowledge he harbours and his predisposition to ponder and dream all too frequently. Illuminatus later meets a second vampire who seems to be the antithesis of the first character which leads him to discount them due to them seeming too much like a pathetic stock stereotype of a split conscience.
The political situation becomes one of the doomsday events he had satirically and lavishly prepared a contingency plan for and this becomes an increasingly prominent aspect of his life, as do his illusory friends, whom reveal themselves to be Biblical figures in disguises he would find amenable.
The country is thrown into a state of disarray as the Prime Minister puts martial law into effect. Illuminatus and his friends at this point are thrown into many post-apocalyptic scenarios including a cannibalistic cult with a new take on Christian Mass, lack of milk for chocolate cereals and contraceptive pills and gang violence between black youths in poor areas. The main characters are subjected to many satirical and absurd yet fatal situations that none deal with in a particularly sensible manner as they find it hard to adjust to the hyper-realistic slaughter ridden world they are now part of. Yet all the while Illuminatus has not given up his dream to cure ageing, which is central to the fight between the Biblical figures Eve and Gabriel. These figures reveal many ideas about the actualities of Heaven and the Universe which are dystopic in nature. A love story ensues between Illuminatus and Eve which is as perverse as his real world relationship is jaded, yet but both relationships having equal amounts of disappointment and loss.
Illuminatus’ control of his destiny spirals as an assassin who hires himself to kill targets to suit his own agenda enters the scene. It is hinted that the assassin, Darksoul, is controlling world events as a romantic gesture to his childhood love, a Japanese ninja, or to alter the course of fate for mankind. Illuminatus wants to use the assassin to better his chance of indefinitely extending his lifespan, but our protagonist’s problems are now expounded due to a weak sense of self brought on by objective reasoning and dreams of transcending to a machine-like form in the future which causes the borders between Illuminatus’ character and the assassins to crumble. Darksoul seems to be caught up in the current political crisis and so the protagonists have no choice but to follow him into the heart of the military coup in hope of eventually escaping to a country where they may have a chance of living forever.
The protagonists follow Darksoul to Japan, whom seem sidelined by as far as plot importance goes, as it is revealed that the chaos in their country is part of a larger conspiracy. The assassin enlists the help of a ninja cult who keep Japanese mythology alive through the medium of performing arts, and also by being ninja assassins. This support is gained through a deadly yet romanticised duel between Darksoul and his long lost love.
A sardonic and fatalistic attempt is now made to save the day from the Prime Minister’s regime that is trying to take over the world for some weak and poorly defined eugenical and megalomaniacal reasons that Darksoul interrupts mid-speech by killing him. This is not before many atomic bombs are released.
The finale involves a narcissistic and tragic fight involving religious pride which ends up killing the protagonist ending his quest for immortality. The result is less nihilistic than a pre-determined negative outcome.